Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Gues Who's Back

I am.... Well at least more blogs are coming. I've started back on my office job so hopefully I'll be able to have more posts coming. One other quick thing. I really like that song by Ryan Leslie 'Addiction' It one of my top songs at the moment. Mainly because I really like this one person and sometimes I believe that if I told them how I felt they would feel the same way too. The confidence isn't there yet but it will be.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Who would you be?

Following this situation with MLK's statue in D.C. made me think that if people were to build a statue of me what would it entail. Have the deeds of my life left a positive effect on the people around me. Will I be remembered for my strides of greatness of my lapses in judgement. Then what kind of person am I if I base all of my decisions on the feelings and perceptions of others, have I given up on my element and that which is me by giving in to the whim of those around me. Yet if I fight against those that wish to help me then am I moving away from my life's goals and dreams.

At times I thought about if I was born in a different era that I would be a different person. That sounds a little on the duh side but when i think about I believe that to be the ultimate litmus test of one's character and behavior. Not knowing what you know now and put into a completely different surrounding and value system would you be the same person deep down inside. Would you be the person you believe yourself to be.... Still driven by the same characteristics that pull you along today? There are those moments in live where one small incident changes the fabric of our existence. Let's say that you knew that moment was coming yet you wouldn't be told the outcome would you take more time to make the choice or just go with your instinct?

What if I told you that every second of your life is one of those moments? Would you live your life different?

"I can't make the choices for you, but I will let you know they are coming..." my quote i just came up with it...

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

It's Been A while....

I know I haven't written in a minute on here and my goal was to write regularly to help myself. I've been busy and really haven't gotten to the computer like I would like to. My cell phone is equipped to receive my emails and such so sometimes I don't even look at a desktop when I don't have to. Away from all of that I'm excited. May is less than 24 hours away and that begins graduation season. I've actually gotten invites for two or three in different states so a lot of my weekend time is gone for the rest of the month. That's not a problem for me I enjoy seeing people hit the start of their transition from college into that next phase.

Back to me.... I feel as if I need to move to the next phase also... I'm not getting younger and yet I'm still not doing what I feel I should be doing. Sometimes I think that if I took a job that paid about the same but allowed me a little more time to do what I wanted that I would fill more fulfilled and actually get more out of life. I might not be able to have all the material things I wanted but I would be living the way I now I should be..... Since I need to invest I must invest in the best thing I'll have for a long time..... ME.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Reality Strikes

this morning I woke up and noticed that my stomach was sticking further out than my chest. I know this last weekend I partied hard and such but damn. If I ever needed motivation to stop eating so much and sleeping all day then this is it... I'm out I gotta do some crunches and push ups...

Friday, April 11, 2008

Tatted Up

Every since I was 17 I've had an idea on 'if' I was to ever get a tattoo what it would be. By the time I was half way through college I had done a complete blueprint on what tattoos I wanted, locations on the body, and even researched where to get these tattoos done based on design and the type of tattoo I wanted. To this day though I haven't gotten anything beyond those multi-week Henna tattoos, and that was when I was still in college. I can't really put my finger on why I even want a tattoo or multiple ones for that matter. When I step back and try to figure it out I don't see the necessity for any, yet a voice keeps telling me that if I get one or two or nine that it would be a much deeper experience than just ink on your skin. These symbols,pictures,words would be a representation of my life, goals, ambitions, etc. without me ever having to open my mouth and explain.

Mr. Stepback Logic: ..people will judge you unfairly because of these and it will keep your options scarce when it comes to work and networking.

Me: Clearly that happens on a regular basis for me regardless
S.L.: Then you def. don't need anything else holding you back from your goals
Me: Anyone who would judge me that quickly doesn't deserve my talents or time
S.L.: Say that when you're looking for a job or advancement in your career
Me: I guess.. There are so many career paths when having tattoos won't hold me back
S.L.: Most of them involve a job where you name is sewn onto your shirt
Me: {counterpoint}
S.L.: {counterpoint}

I know I just broke into an internal dialogue but that's how it goes back and forth all the time. Yet all of this is mute because I don't have the disposable income needed to just go out and get well done tattoos at a moment's notice. I mean if they were really that important to me I'd probably would have saved up the money and gotten them done. Only the future can tell what's going to happen.

if i do get some I'll def. post some pics

Living in the Moment

I think I've used that line many times to validate why I'm doing things that I know will have a negative effect on me or the people around me in the future. Yet I still believe that without you can't really complete goals in your life. I look back at my near past and can see that I did some things that have the possibility of being a hindrance to completing my goals and living how I need and want to live. A person should always be aware of the situations you create yourself and if it fits into your plan. Once you focus too much on the past and the future you lose sight of the gifts and oppurtunities that arise for you to follow your path where ever it may lead you. I know that right now in my life I've take the 'Living in the Moment' idea was past where I should have and by doing so did things that have messed up other people's lives. A mentor of mine stresses the 7P's Prior Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance

Take the time now to get your stuff in order. That way when the future comes you won't have to look back and say damn I coulda had everything straight and on-point.

My first step to doing what I need to do and doing what's good for me even when it involves cutting ties and moving on from different people or situations that I've gotten involved with and aren't travelling on the same paths, or in the same transportations, or at the same speed.

When it comes to starting to get your life right remember this: I'M ALL I GOT....
(I'm not saying forsake for friends and loved ones who are trying to help, but if you don't want to get better then all the work and time they put in is for naught.....)

currently listening to: Say Hello by Jay-Z

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Committed to Myself

I just read another blog ,, one of the entries was on Being Interested vs. Being Committed.... Man did that hit home. I never looked at the improvements I tried to make in my life in that manner before. When I did a quick evaluation I found that many of the things I needed to handle I was really only Interested in improving them or making changes in them. Whereas all the material wants I was def. Committed to fixing them. When I was younger I will say that was based on my surroundings... I wanted what other people had, even though I had enough for me, and that stayed with me until college. I became more aware of my actions and my thought process but didn't follow through to make these changes I wanted for myself a daily truth in my life. So now I feel as if I'm back in the same situation I was in before I got to college and doing things all for material gain and want..... It makes me think of this quote Matthew 16:26 "For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?"

I know I'm worth enough to be Committed to make the changes I need.

"... if life was easy then everyone would enjoy it..."